Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Patato Potato

Most people spend their lives looking for that speacial potato. A potato that will stand by them through the good times and the bad. A potato that will wipe away their tears when their favorite character gets bumped off a television series in a gruesome and rather uncalled for accident when the aforementioned actor starts to throw starry tantrums. A potato that will call and ask them how their day was and pretend to listen when they rant about their insanely stupid classmate and an equally annoying room mate or sibling.

A potato that they can think of and smile to themselves when they hear cheesy love songs play at the mall. A potato that will be funny but in a more witty fashion than slapstick cheap fart joke cracking way. A potato that will be sarcastic in the classic chandler bing way. It would also be great if the potato happens to have a ravishing appearance. A potato that will wear shirts and miraculously not sweat in the sultry summers of our country. A potato that they can kiss and cuddle in the harsh,long and otherwise lonely winters.Oh, the quest for that perfect potato is tiresome.

This potato, once found and attained would magically transform their lives for the better. The reason behind the over usage of hearts and "mwah mwah" on their facebook statuses and profile pictures would be the said potato. It would also give them a swing in their step and all that jazz. Ah! bliss. :|

But what happens when the potato turns overtly mushy and starts to upset their digestive system? when the constant smiles,calls and almost paternal concern starts to annoy the beejezus out of them? what then? That is when they have the dreaded "talk".

The break up phase isnt easy. It makes them swear off vegetables for a while. They write long blog posts, facebook notes and even tweet cryptic song lyrics about the one who must not be named. They watch soppy romantic movies holed up in their dingy rooms in their snowman pjs and try to pull a bridget jones but fail. They wonder if they have to resort to fiction and flights of fancy to satisfy their appetite for a good and wholesome meal?

Before they know it, they have spent a major part of their teenage life chasing,courting or running away from a potato.

Until, in walks the tomato. Starch free,juicy, complacent and casual and technically not a vegetable, that has got to be a sign they think. After a little trepidation they bestow their faith upon it and the same cycle of events take place all over again.

Par ki farak penda hai? The market is abundant with exotic fruits and vegetables, some imported from foreign lands as well. Their friends gush about this scrumptious tofu they devoured the other day after one too many drinks and they wonder if they should change their preferences and turn non vegetarian , do a little experimentation and soul searching. Thats what college is about, isn't it?


  1. Oh my! This objectification of men as vegetables is so profound. You have changed the way I will look at vegetables forever Pratigya...
    Also, why not fruits?? Are women the fruits? Who is the "meat" then?

  2. Hahaha I cant tell if you are being sarcastic here.

    The thing is us women are too idealistic in our vision of the man we want in our lives and only something inanimate can have ALL these qualities hence the objectification.

    Also, I was tired of the "many other fish in the sea" adage so the vegetable/fruit market scenario.

    The meat is anything you want it to be bro. *smirks* ;)

  3. Haha cucumbers.
    Sorreh bro that's the first thing that came to my mind when I read this.
    We MUST classify men as vegetables man.

    Bald indian= Chikoo.
    Y'know like thet.

  4. No dude, no sarcasm. Ok maybe just a little bit. =P
    I have NEVER liked the "many other fish in the sea" metaphor. Heck, I don't even EAT fish there's no effing way I'd DATE one.
    True life.

  5. I initially classified my best friends as THE potatoes while reading your post...and i went on going like "so true", so true....anyhow i think i got the best friend syndrome.....
    It is hilarious....your post.
    To our potatoes, with whom, in my case i tend to fight so much, that everybody is bored.

  6. Thank you Nirali,kshipra and Mugdha. You guys made my day :)

  7. HAHAHAHA, This is awesome.


  8. Haha, AdhaPapad. Well written. I wrote on a similar topic last month. Check it out. And, here's following you with a click.