Thursday, January 28, 2010

Friends are like potatoes if you eat them they die.

When a Kid is really small and you hide the toy he is playing with,the toy ceases to exist for him but as he grows older,his brain develops and when you repeat the same action with him, he now looks for his toy as he knows that objects continue to exist even when they cannot be seen,touched or heard. This is called Object Permanence.

Today the same theory can be applied to the friends we have.There are some friends that you can call in the middle of the night when you are panicking about an exam or about the world ending in 2012 and they will answer your call tell you to calm the fuck down,console you and then tell you to slap yourself for waking them up.Then there are friends who you call after say 3-4 months and still manage to have the best conversations with, the kind that clears your head,with them distance or time doesnt change anything,unlike the rest of the world. (Thankgod for that!) And deep down you know that they will always be there no matter what.

But even though each one of us has these friends we still manage to put ourselves in the self loathe mode and declare that we have no friends and the world is a bad place after all. Untill..

We meet these wonderful set of people who completely change our views about life as we know it. The kind of people with who you just "click". They make you realize that all this time when someone gave that loser-ish speech about how there is a whole new world out there and how we are being completely juvenile in thinking that "my world is going to come to an end because my friends arent talking to me" or "the guy/girl I like doesnt like me I am gonna die", that person was actually right because there IS a whole new world out there where people accept you for who you are with no expectations or demands and where you just fit in like a puzzle piece that was in hiding.

^ Scooby and his friends. Different yet similar.

After a point you realize that there is no point in having 446 friends on your facebook friends list if you cant think of calling either one of them at a time of crisis. The thing is we spend most of our time thinking and over thinking about things and people who dont matter. As a part of my new year resoultion 101 I have decided to quit doing THIS and suggest you do the same.

Choose wisely live well - Some mutual fund advertizement.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Nishant has eggs and manish is pregnant

Nishant : Dude I dont understand why they call balls balls.

Me : :S

Nishant : Yeah If you go to see they are not exactly balls,they are more egg like.

Us: Nishant you have eggs.

All through the bus ride

Aakriti : Eggs to you man!

JT : So do you want omlette?

Me : Nishant will be the one ovulating in his relationship.

Aakriti : Eggjactly.

JT : *points to a random place* That place serves awesome EGG bhurji.

Guess who can never eat eggs anymore?

Manish *distributing chocolates randomly*

Me : Good news hai kya? *touches his stomach* Arrey this baby is kicking!

Manish : Main maa banne wali hoon. Bhakti you are having a sibling.

Other people start saying *All izz well*

Someone : But your stomach isnt growing!?

Me : Sperms are slow.

That day Manish made me buy a Mango dolly ice cream worth 20 bucks coz he was "craving " for it and I had to settle for the poor cousin - Orange Candy worth 5 bucks.

^ Manish and Nishant.

Nishant is the kind of guy who makes a spoon out of paper if you dont have a spoon to eat the awesome andorra's chicken fried rice. Geeta the english teacher calls him a chick magnet. Geeta is old and sex deprived. But Nishant IS a good guy and he can put his fist in his mouth. NO, he really can!

Manish is way too sensible for his Body Mass Index, but in his defense he is growing. I have known him since the last 7 years. I am his broker and I call him maniaaa *bihari accent*. All the mothers really like him.

Those are the kind of guys we have in podar, one has egg shaped balls the other one has been impregnated by alien forces, but we love them, just the way they are. :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. " - Oscar Wilde.

" I hate living alone with my dad. It makes me feel like I am becoming more and more like my mother." said Jo. Jo is my best friend forever who I have known since I was in 5th grade, she knows me in an out, and is basically the best thing that happend to mankind since chocolate. But thats not the point, the point is that subconsciously we have started to become what we never wanted to be.

Now dont get me wrong its great to idolize your parents but seriously,everytime we dont get what we want and our parents manage to completely piss us off, dont we always think to ourselves how we are NEVER going to let that happen to OUR kids.

During one of our frequent visits MacD' Jo, Khyati (Now she's the most sarcastic,practical and simple person I know, a rare kind in today's plastic world) and I thought of names from A-Z (for both boy and girl) for Jo's future kid. We even decided that if her husband doesnt approve of our choice of names then he was to be abandoned asap.

I was watching So you think you can dance? and this woman danced like magic, and I thought to myself, " Woah, I am so gonna make my kid learn dayancing". (Oh other thing we pronounce dance as dayance but that story is for some other time.)

Thats when it hit me, " dude why Am I planning my non existant-for-a-really-long time-to-come kid's future?", You know those ambitious mums you see outside school and thank the good lord that your mum isnt that way? the kind who enrolls the child in every class possible and the kind whose children suffer under the burden of her expectations and ambition?

See the thing is, like shahrukh said in kuch kuch hota hai, "You live once", so why not fulfill all your dreams, wild fantasies and do the things that we really want to do OURSELVES rather than wait for our progeny to live OUR dreams? That kid-to-be should just chill and think for him/herself dont you think?

PS: Now this could be one of those ahead of its time posts but what the hell some food for thought isnt it?.

" Do they know that we know? " - Rachel Green, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Women talk. (alot)
Its a proven fact.
And when a friend or a friend of a friend or a friend of a friend of a friend (you get the flow) is lovestruck, we get all the deets (short for details - oh I am so cool :P) about them.
Now more often than not, we have NO idea about who the person is and its quite possible that we have never met them and never will, but does that stop us from all the sharing and caring? I dont think so.

So whether they like hardy boys or own an alsatian dog or like to wear fluroscent green boxers or had a fling with their best friend's sister,we KNOW everything. Now you may think this is a mild form of stalking but tell you what this is the female networking at its best.

^ For example :P

Hypothetical situation :

Someone you know but dont KNOW : "Do I know you?"
You : " No but I do". :P

Thursday, January 7, 2010

"Gyaan Is to be batoed" - Elastic chaddi buddy :)

After 12 years (or more?) Of schooling there are some things that I realized :-

  • Math never was/is my cup of coffee/tea/buttermilk.
  • Decision making is not my thing.
  • Friends/bitches/ambition/lovestruck weirdness nothing lasts forever.
  • Shit happens.

My mental state now?

" The paper fucked me so hard I feel like a slut " - Shayan Roy.

Oh my 12th std prelims are going on.I should be studying and Mayawati should be in jail but clearly none of the two are happening any time soon. So now that you are here might as well read something and realize "woah! life globally is the same Bitch".